I sit down
Things seemed so much better before
Lit skin in melodious colors
Spinning graciously, for it wont last forever
In lust again
Hooded figure drops from the ceiling
Gravely gripping at his chest
Breaking solemnly head down
Professional non-smokers hover
Paper cuts bleed profusely over the table into glasses
Melting eyes catch glimpses of rabbits
Shoulder blades slice right through butter
Continental breaths linger over bitter tea
Chained bears sip for your sake
It all seemed quaint before
Now its just nonsense
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Hello again blog world!
It has been quite a while, I must say, since I have blogged. I just recently remembered I had one of these things and with the summer taking up most of my time (more on that later) I guess I just lost track of this blog.
A reason for my departure from this blog is because I have gone back to the basics I suppose you could say. Writing is one of my favorite things to do, but I never get to do enough of it. Whether it be because of work, or school, or just life, it has fallen behind on my list of priorities. Not until recently have I really picked up again, and this time I hit it full force. I have three written journals that I usually write in. Two are for a class, and the other is for me.
The summer was quite an experience to say the least. My adventures usually led me to the forest, and outdoors, which is a rarity for me. Not only did I spend my time outdoors but I can proudly say that I really did do some growing up this summer. I guess it takes time to realize what your priorities are in life and I can say that I think I have found mine. As I was writing in my journal today I remember writing this, "I know that i'm not done growing up, there is a lot I have to learn, but i'm glad i'm open to it now". Which encompasses how i'm living my life these days. I have really taken a new turn, for the better, and I believe that I know what I want to do.
Today I started my applications for CSU's and it is quite a daunting process. There is so much they need to know, and it ain't cheap.
I'm also taking a full course load this semester of which I plan to ace all of my classes. And finally finish with math, once and for all!!!!
On the personal front, I guess i've learned a lot about myself. I know what I want in life. I'm still quite stupid though. So its on a trial and error basis.
On the work front, I still work at RR, and its mostly just one day a week. Which is bearable for me. Thats all i'll say about that.
Applying for all my schools has really made me think of what I want in life, what i'm willing to give up, and what i'm standing to gain. I know that if I stay in California I will have it easier, I will have a place to live with my mom, and food to eat. But i've also realized that its about time I flew the coop. I love my family, but I think I would appreciate them more from afar, way afar.
Its a scary thing to move I know this. But who's to say that I can't handle the challenge?
Well right now, I have the pacific north west in my sights and I hope to one day fulfill my dream of living there.
This fall promises to be most interesting if everything goes as planned. I have so much homework now that I don't know what to do with myself. Also I'll be working some on new projects with friends. So that sounds like it should fill my time up.
And for now, I think i'll keep surfing the web for an invitation to Google Wave, which seems like it will be the future of communications.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Mt. FUN!
Its Mt. Baldy and the bugs came out to play. This tuesday we a couple friends an I went to hike in the wilderness that is the Angeles National Forest. I was expecting fresh air, which we got. Big trees, check. And a whole lot of bugs, which I wasn't expecting. The flys were abnormally ginormous. Each one would land on you and begin to make you the host of their ever expanding family. The red marks on me are proof of the attack I barely survived. I used to think that I was a wilderness person. I cherished the fact that as a city boy, I would appreciate the expansive forest. But much to my chagrin, or distaste for the insect kingdom, I am not in fact a wilderness boy. I am through and through a dweller of suburbia. Its not a big surprise I suppose. I was raised in the city. So it comes down to having to choose a life of modern comforts, or a life of tranquil peace with great weather and beautiful sunsets, melded with horrifying insects and grotesque bug bites. I think I choose the former. A city boy. Doesn't sound so bad, does it?
Sunday, June 14, 2009
I'll always have money for books
It has come to my attention recently that when I am a starving writer in some crack of a den, I will always spend my money on books instead of food. It sounds idiotic, in fact it sounds downright stupid. But I would rather read than eat. God knows my body will benefit from such practices. Honestly though, I love to read and when ever I have some extra cash or a full check to cash I will immediately head towards the nearest bookseller establishment.
For example today, I could have saved my two or three shekels for a later day, but instead the minute I saw that "Of Mice And Men" was on sale for 2 dollars I had to have it.
On the same spree I bought "Nausea" by Jean Paul Sartre and "Death of a Salesman" by Arthur Miller.
Really, I only do it to build my collection. I want to amass a library comparable to that of the one Congress posesses. Impossible, I know. Yet a boy could dream.
When I read I delve into other worlds where my problems don't seem so large and daunting. Life after books just seems so much easier. One would say then, why read about such depression and sadness and such overwhelming adversity. Why? Because, thats why. The words fill me and wrap me tight making me feel protected. I love the smell of an old book, especially when its yellowed and falling apart. Imagine what its been through. Its witnessed first hand the lives of other owners who explored its pages. Its seen the tears fall from many eyes and heard the roaring laughter from many voices. I love knowing that there is something so old and yet willing to teach me something new when ever I feel like it.
Books.
PS: A shout out must be given to the people at the Prison Library Project in Claremont, CA. That is where I purchased my novels today. Thanks, I hope my donations help the indigent inmates of Chino State Prison!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Book Review
This past week i've been reading "Possible Side Effects" by Augusten Burroughs, who also wrote "Running With Scissors". This is another collection of essays mostly consisting of recaps of his childhood and some recent events after his success with the film. The book was very funny to say the least. He is a very witty writer with clever insights into the human condition. When he writes about his mother, you can feel the pain. Yet, you are laughing your ass off the whole time.
There is a scene near the end of the book where he writes about finding out that there is no Santa Clause. But only because his mother has to yank him off of an asian man who he thinks is Santa. In fact he believes that all mythical creatures are asain. Why? Well, I won't give that part away, you'll have to read that for yourself.
And if you like this one, you will do well in picking up the rest of his novels. But start off with this one. Its a hoot and a half!
Daliy Soup
Now for another installment of the Daily Soup:
This time we're going to look at one of my favorite websites. RCRDLBL is a music site for independent artists that want to get their music out there but can't because lack of money, distributors, or the biggest reason: no record company. Its a blog of sorts, but one that lets you download music free and most importantly LEGALLY. That was one of the big sellers for me. Its one of the websites I frequent most and often. The music is an eclectic mix of electronica, rock, pop, indy, dance, and hip-hop.
Note:for DJ's they often hold remix contests for up and coming DJ's. The music is free and legal to remix, in fact they want to hear it. Check them out, and download!
Here are a few samples from their collection:
Check some of these artists out and if you like them, go ahead and download it. Its free people!
Book Sites
Its hard finding a good book to read nowadays. For one thing, I am a very picky reader. I only like reading certain types of books by certain authors. However there is always the exception to the rule. The classics for example. At Barnes and Nobel there is an entire section dedicated to the books that we grew up with. Lining the walls are such authors as Charles Dickens, Shakespear, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Jack London, Niccolo Machiavelli, W.e.b DuBois, and many many more.
Many contemporary authors share the spotlight with the classics. And they are Joyce Carroll Oats, David Sedaris, Augusten Burroughs, Mark Haddon, C.D. Payne, John Steinbeck, J.K. Rowling, Stephanie Meyer, Dan Brown, Ayn Rand, and many more that I can't list because it will take up this whole blog.
For me, what catches eye most is a good cover. That is a must. I know the saying, "never judge a book by its cover". But as a typical consumer colorful things always catch my eye. For example, I read catch 22 because of the blue cover and white letters, thats it. Well to be honest, someone had recommended it to me. And It turned out to be a funny read.
As a rule, I always carry a book with me now. I hate to be caught with nothing to do, hence the book. If there is ever a moment where I have absolutely nothing to do, I read. Not to say that I do it because its a chore, no. I love to read. And I feel as though reading has become a lost art. People are such visual creatures that they cannot stand to stare at something for too long. The brain needs stimulation. As a result, reading has gone by the wayside. TV now rules. A sad fact.
Nevertheless, finding good books is hard. Especially one that you might be interested in. So here are some good places to look. Online and in store.
www.bn.com (Barnes and Nobel Online site. It carries a wide range of books, not many rare titles)
www.powells.com (Used, new and out of prints books, just like the homepage says)
www.baumanrarebooks.com (more rare books)
www.borders.com (sign up and get lots of coupons)
www.bookfinder.com (finds books for you, what can be better?)
www.octavo.com (something a little different, rare digital books)
Check them out and type in the category, author, or genre that you are interested in and who knows, you might find a book you love.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Pregaming is it?
no corrections, no filter, just me.
Sitting here listening to this song by mgmt, electric feel, its quite a catchy song. I must have heard it ages ago, but it slipped my mind. The song also has attached to it some great memories of this past year, (wait the song changed and i need it to write this). Anyway, this year so far has been an experience of a life time. In January I began to go to these parties, I knew only one person at first, my friend. It was intimidating at first to say the least. Not knowing anyone is a scary experience when at a party. For some people its the best thing ever. Well, not for me. I used to be petrified to go to parties on my own. I would have rather shot vinegar up my wrist than party alone. That was until I actually saw, with sober eyes what actually goes on at parties. People get there, round 11, at the earliest. Some are already half drunk, from what according to certain sources which shall remained unnamed is: pregaming. Pregaming is the act of drinking your booze of choice in your car before you actually arrive to the party. Its akin to having a drug addict t.v. host taking a hit of cocaine before the live broadcast. Its only to loosen you up. Simple I suppose. Not for me. I'm a paranoid specimen, and I like to drink socially, or else it seems weird, and I feel as though the next thing I should do is sign up for a AA meeting. "Hi, my name is mo. I pregamed in the car, by myself, I'm a loser I know! Oh my god where have I gone wrong!", is something along the lines of what I would say. Nevertheless, I tend to get pretty olbliterated at partys that pregaming at least for me, its rather unnecessary. I guess its just weird old me.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Muzack
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Bold Moves
I've always loved television. Ever since my mother would turn it on and let me watch an hour or so of mind numbing programming. Its always been a comfort to me, especially when I'm bored, sad, or just feel like tuning out. Nevertheless, time and time again I turn to the boob tube for, for lack of a better word, peace. Sometimes i'll be in front of it, and leave it on any channel, just for the noise, and the company. The emitting lights and sounds can be very reassuring. Yet, all of the comfort and supposed peace it has brought me has come at a price. I tend to tune out of life sometimes. I would rather indulge in a good hour drama, than deal with life. The television has been my coping mechanism for so many years. While watching tv, I can sort out my problems, issues, and what have you. All while conscious or unconsciously watching the tv...................
That right there was a pause for one of my brief indulgences. (I'm watching X-Men: The Last Stand on FX, in HD no less)
Anyway, this tends to happen a lot. Sometimes, someone will be talking to me and I can hear them, I really can, but I don't respond because i'm entranced by the program.
Well, no more, hopefully. I've made a decision, a bold one on my part. At least I think so anyway. I have removed the television from my room, where I spend a good deal of time. And in its place, an empty space waiting for yet another mind numbing device to supersede it. I've always had a television in my room, but recently its become a problem. I'll turn it on, for the noise, and start on my homework. But sooner or later I tune out of my homework, and tune into whatever is on the tv. It is so easy! It happens way too often for my liking, and my welfare. I'm focusing more on my studies now, and I think this is a positive step in the right direction for success. I know it may seem like nothing to other people, but to me its a big deal.
Now, off to do some actual homework.
*turns of t.v. and heads to tv-less room, oh the horror!*
Monday, April 27, 2009
One hour of sleep
This is me typing on one hour of sleep. I'm still functional, still breathing (thank the lord), and still upright. I finished my essay at 4am and slept for about an hour. So this is about all I am capable of writing without falling face forward on the keyboard. Au revoir.
Its lunch time, I think bagels are in order. Chip Chip Cheerio!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Style
This is a belated post about a shoot I participated in a few weeks ago. It was 60s inspired, yet modern. The team could not have been any better and more suited for this type of shoot. I think it turned out really well. Hope you guys like them as well. These are just some of the behind the scenes shots I took.
Et voila:
c'est fini!
Style by: Shadi
Et voila:
c'est fini!
Style by: Shadi
Pop Icon-ish
This past week Brian Graden, president of MTV, Logo, and VH1, came to speak at Mt. SAC. He spoke about his life, his career and his projects. The funny part of it all was when he compared every stage of his life to a reality tv show, that he would then go on to play a clip from. It sort of seemed like big ad for MTV. Nevertheless, he managed to capture my interest. Isn't that the most important thing?
P.S. Well he was quite inspiring actually. His whole life story about how he was fired from his job and then he went to work at South Park. I think he is the reason that the show is on the air. (thanks Brian). Also he used to be married, to a woman! Considering the fact that he is gay, thats pretty surprising. How could a man who's had so many obstacles in life, turn out to be a president of one of the most popular networks in the world? Thats pretty interesting to me.
P.S. Well he was quite inspiring actually. His whole life story about how he was fired from his job and then he went to work at South Park. I think he is the reason that the show is on the air. (thanks Brian). Also he used to be married, to a woman! Considering the fact that he is gay, thats pretty surprising. How could a man who's had so many obstacles in life, turn out to be a president of one of the most popular networks in the world? Thats pretty interesting to me.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
I'm Pressin' Charges
Thanks to Michelle and Shadi, I don't think i've laughed as hard as I did with this video. Oh me, oh my.
+ the remixes are top notch.
Hilarious!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
The Shins
A cold and wet November dawn
and there are no barking sparrows
just emptiness to dwell upon.
I fell into a winter slide
and ended up the kind of kid who goes down chutes too narrow
just eking out my measly pies.
But I learned fast how to keep my head up 'cause I
know there is this side of me that
wants to grab the yoke from the pilot and just
fly the whole mess into the sea.
Another slow train to the coast
some brand new gory art from way on high
I sink and then I swim all night.
I watch the ice melt on the glass
while the eloquent young pilgrims pass
and leave behind their trail
imploring us all not to fail.
Of course I was raised to gather courage from those
lofty tales so tried and true
if you're able, I'd suggest it 'cause this
modern thought can get the best of you.
This rather simple epitaph can save your hide, your falling mind
fate isn't what we're up against there's no design, no flaws to find
there's no design, no flaws to find.
But I learned fast how to keep my head up 'cause I
know I got this side of me that
wants to grab the yoke from the pilot and just
fly the whole mess into the sea.
My fave song.
and there are no barking sparrows
just emptiness to dwell upon.
I fell into a winter slide
and ended up the kind of kid who goes down chutes too narrow
just eking out my measly pies.
But I learned fast how to keep my head up 'cause I
know there is this side of me that
wants to grab the yoke from the pilot and just
fly the whole mess into the sea.
Another slow train to the coast
some brand new gory art from way on high
I sink and then I swim all night.
I watch the ice melt on the glass
while the eloquent young pilgrims pass
and leave behind their trail
imploring us all not to fail.
Of course I was raised to gather courage from those
lofty tales so tried and true
if you're able, I'd suggest it 'cause this
modern thought can get the best of you.
This rather simple epitaph can save your hide, your falling mind
fate isn't what we're up against there's no design, no flaws to find
there's no design, no flaws to find.
But I learned fast how to keep my head up 'cause I
know I got this side of me that
wants to grab the yoke from the pilot and just
fly the whole mess into the sea.
My fave song.
Friday, April 10, 2009
An exercise in futility.
The poor,innocent, troglodytes of society bathe in the sunlight of the evening day. Jean Marie tilts her head up, slightly, in the manner of a former beauty queen. She behaves so very regal, its inspiring. You know she used to be beautiful, it is evident in her bone structure. Her jaw line defined, slightly masculine but very feminine simultaneously. Her cheekbones radiate from her face, resplendent almost, round and fine. Her nose is upturned, but ever so slightly. Her eyes, however, seem argumentative, angry, pensive. Their color is faded from years gone by of a life once lived. So yes, you can tell she was once a beauty. But now, the years have taken their toll. The bags under her eyes weigh on her, like anchors. She tries to cover them up anyway she can, with makeup, with treatments, with cold hard cucumbers (like she sees on t.v), but to no avail. It's all pointless. She won't resort to medical interventions either. She rationalizes that its beneath her. Surgery. Hmph! But the truth is that she can't afford it. She can barely afford her lunch that shes enjoying right now. She had finally had enough. What's one 5 dollar lunch she says? She's been saving and saving. She wants to escape from her meaningless job, her dead-end job, and her troll of a husband. She's what you would call a desperate housewife, the epitome of one, I would say.
mo-
and thats as much as i have today. its an exercise in writing i would like to do everyday. hopefully i'll keep it up.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
The Soup of the Day
Arrrgh!
My cellphone is vibrating on the faux wood desk i've been assigned in my french 2 class. It goes on and on, for eternity, or, well, until I pick it up. Everyone hears it in the freakishly quiet room. They turn. I turn red. Then it all turns. The professor has noticed the vibrating, she smiles. Its one of those evil, wicked smiles. She's happy that she's caught me. Almost too happy. How could someone be so happy to catch someone red handed. (Well, backtrack. I know a lot of people who would be more than delighted to catch someone doing something naughty). She projects her lanky arm forward, palm open, waiting hungrily for my phone. Despondently, I hand it over, my face is now clearly upset. If you could visualize it: the eyebrows furled, squinched as tightly as possible. The forehead is another story all together, lines clearly visible like dried out riverbeds in the grand canyon. The eyes are red with fury, beaming at her, filled with nothing but disdain. The mouth is pursed shut, nothing could open it except a barrage of curse words aimed directly at the enemy. Thats what my face looks like.(Pretty isn't it?) But she will not get away with it! Yet, she already has. In front of my classmates, no less. I resign to the fact that my phone is now in her dried up bony old hands. Forever locked away, or, until class is over. At the end of class I will be sure to give her a pice of my mind, and it will be a big honkin' piece, cherry filled! The kid next to me witnesses everything, especially my rage. He keeps a safe distance. "Good thinking buddy" I say to myself. Best he stays away, for his own sake. Because I am about to rip this room apart with my rage! Or rather, like always, do nothing. Yeah, that sounds about right. By the end of class my vehement vexation has significantly worn off. I know, I was utterly out of line. I shouldn't have behaved in such a manner. I completely embarrassed myself, yet again. Nothing new in my book. Another one to add to the list of public mortifications. Who do I have to blame but myself. Not that it matters. I'm just ranting after all.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Sacramento
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
The Soup of the Day
Blogs
What are they for? What purpose do they serve? Are they only a vehicle for our massive egos? A way to express our innermost superficial thoughts that we think others might deem "cool". Well I've had this blog for about two years now and I still yet to have found a following, or a theme. The title says Inquisitive Ponderings, which should mean that in every posting I pose some type of question. Yet, I do not. It is mostly some random thought and funny video or picture I find on the internet. Usually it is mostly me, bored and wondering why my life is the way it is. Nevertheless, it is my duty to pose the question. Why do we need blogs? I think it is a way for us to communicate our thoughts and opinions. Thats the simple explanation. The complicated one is that we have lost most of our connection to other human beings that we feel as though the only way to be heard is by voicing our thoughts online. Society relies substantially on technology, therefore avoiding their human relationships. They go online for everything. To shop, to waste time, to play, to find mates, to everything! Partly it is convenience that leads us to the internet. Technology rules our lives. That little PDA in our pockets has taken over! It is high time we put down that Iphone, and pick up a real phone, drop that ipod and put on a record, and shut down the computer and talk to your neighbor. Movies have predicted the future and it looks pretty bleak. I don't mean to sound all preachy, but what is wrong with a little human on human connection.
Done and Done.
Monday, March 23, 2009
A Thoreauvian Essay on Debt
Simplicity is the Key
Suffice it to say people love to go shopping. Henry D. Thoreau in his novel, Walden, criticized those types of people who live life superficially. During the holiday season, the parking lots fill up to the maximum with hungry shoppers. They are hungry for that new pair of jeans from Guess or that brand new widescreen from Sony. They feed their hunger mostly with spending, the receipts, the only leftovers from the feeding. It is like the Saharan wild at a mall during Christmas season. The lions and the gazelles battle it out for the best piece of the deal. The Lion continually tries to outwit the clever gazelle, yet the gazelle is cunning. Feeling momentarily elated, the gazelle triumphant from its escape from the lion does not realize that something waits in the shadows. Lurking for as long as necessary, ready to pounce at just the right moment. Coincidentally, the precise moment is at the end of the month. The lion jumps and attacks the poor innocent gazelle with… the bill. Yes that is correct, the bill. The gazelle is once again to blame for its own demise. The helpless gazelle, lured by the clever lion into its lair where it could entice it with water and grass, fell for the trick once again. Nothing in life is free, that is certain. Yet, the poor gazelle did not know this. Now it is dead, or since this gazelle serves as a metaphor for the incompetent shopper, bogged down with a massive credit card bill. Like Thoreau says regarding luxuries, “Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts, of life are not only indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind” (16). No truer words have even been spoken about the ridiculous amount of spending that society does. Thoreau succinctly navigates his way through all the rubbish excuses and gets down to crux of the issue: People spend too money much on things they do not need. Wealth created from borrowing is only an allusion of wealth manifested by a society where the majority strives to live above their means. Credit companies thrive on customers who fail to pay their bills. It is a business and credit card company’s treat it as such. Conversely, spenders do not; they feel as though they can put off the pain of paying for their luxuries as long as they pay the minimum. A nation with a rising debt, a society in jeopardy, and a culture where materialism runs rampant are issues that must be dealt with.
It is morning and the young borrower is still in bed warm and safe. He knows nothing of what is out there waiting for him. He awakens and shakes the sleep off. Still groggy from slumber, he proceeds to grab a cup of coffee that mom made, of course. He checks the mail and to his surprise there is a card for him. What a pleasant surprise, he thinks. He slowly opens it, no need when he has no impeding activities for the day. The coffee hits the ground first, and then he does. The heat of the freshly brewed coffee burns his knees. Two thousand dollars owed to the credit card company. Like most young adults his age, he applied for a bank credit card. All those new features like Save-the-change and free checking seemed rather appealing. Nothing could beat that, so he applied and was accepted. He need only put in fifty dollars to qualify. At the time he did not bother reading the agreement, as well as the hidden fees. Still shocked from the amount of money he owes, he opens the rest of the bill. He justified most of the expenses as necessities. He needed a brand new printer for school. And what about the ski boots, his little feet would have frozen with out them. And the ski poles were thrown in at half price. Yet, he is still confounded. He cannot find a plausible way to pay for all of his frivolous spending. Most people like him are in the same situation. Banks offer credit cards to college students knowing that they can make profit from all of the over draft fees irresponsible spenders. It is common for students to spend without knowing how much they have available. Thoreau knows it is evident that there will be situations where the poor will struggle (6). He alludes to the state of affairs that naïve credit card owners are trapped into. They know nothing of APRs or interest rates. All they care about is that they are able to pay for that shiny new toy now, and worry about it later. As long as the minimum is paid monthly, nothing could go wrong. Most people borrow and beg to live up to some standard of living that is unattainable. They would rather spend that money for groceries on a new pair of jeans. Priorities get mixed up when materialism takes over society. Eventually, snip-snip is the only sound most people will hear when their credit cards are cut in half.
The national debt is at an all time high of three trillion dollars. Most people get stressed over a bill of one hundred dollars. It all adds up with a mortgage here, a car payment there. The bills seem infinite. Debt is like a nagging relative that is always asking for a handout. But the real issue is the reason why people get into their financial quandaries. It is mostly due to a culture where superficiality is treasured amongst all other traits. Most people, especially the young, trifle with their finances and make uneducated decisions. Credit cards do help in a pinch when one does not have cash at hand, but should only be used in those types of situations. Relying too much on them can create an addiction that could ruin person’s finances. Money is said to be the root of all evil. However, it can also make life very fun. Money lets us not worry about what bill to pay next, or where the next check is coming from. Yet, life without money can be good too. It teaches one to be self sufficient, frugal, and most of all, creative. The imagination can run wild when money tends to be in absentia. Instead of the nice new car, a used car can do just the same but with a lot less cash needed. Instead of going out to eat, the crafty spender can make a buffet of left overs. It is all in the way one perceives the way they live. If one thinks their life is miserable, then it will be. But making the most of a bad situation can actually be a good thing. According to Thoreau, the simplification of ones life could make life less complex (427). A simple life can be a great thing because life can get very cluttered sometimes. By living humbly one can finally begin to see that those superficial excesses were unnecessarry. The expensive car was pointless, the new leather coat useless, and the new pair of jeans too expensive. A life once lived extravagantly gave the person a specious appearance of grandeur when actually it was a life devoid of any actual integrity.
People strive to be better than what they are. When standing in the middle of a cold, tiny apartment most people wish for something a little better, a little bigger and a little nicer. It is intrinsic in most humans to want more than the other person. Some are born into wealth, while some are not so lucky. Amongst the abundance of people who do not have that kind of luck, hard work is a must. Success is hard to attain for some people because of the situation of the economy right now. The economy has made it almost impossible for anyone to make money, get a job or even go back to school just to be able to get another job. Most people end up taking anything that will pay the rent. A person with their masters degree could have been one of the people who stood in line get a job as a cleaner for the Dodgers Stadium. The cold harsh truth is that people did this to themselves. Instead of applying for that subprime mortgage they should have weighed their options and headed in another direction. Instead of buying that exorbitantly expensive car, a good used car would have sufficed. But no, sadly the price for luxury items is no match for a person’s credit. A credit card can buy a person almost anything nowadays. It can seemingly even buy happiness. Nevertheless, when that bill comes in the mail a month later it all comes crashing down. Here comes the government once again to bail out the companies who lent too much. It all cycles into a treacherous inescapable predicament whereupon people are unable to surface from. The young are especially at risk for developing bad credit due to the lack of knowledge they possess. Like Thoreau, people need to learn to be satisfied with what they posses, not what they desire.
As debt accumulates so does the tension. As tensions rise, so do outburst of anger. Those out burst come in many forms, some not so subtle. Humans display an array of emotions while under stress. Sometimes it is depression, while other times it is uncharacteristic anger. Behavior can often be ruled by the socioeconomic culture. When times are hard, the stress amounts to a collective feeling of doom among society. At work the days seem to melt into one another, each hour passing like an eternity. Although it seems as though the restaurant business has not been hit, they have. Due to the economy, even the most lucrative business are going under. Finally, people realize that going out is a luxury. At the expense of the whims of society companies can either be successful, or shut down. Thoreau believes in solving the problems of life practically (Walden 17). To be more practical is to be less complicated. A life lived with less can be more. To put it in perspective, life is made of moments. Moments are what give life meaning to the poor, and even the rich. A small gesture like waking up to a fresh cup of hot coffee can be the most wonderful thing to a poor person, and it can make the rich person feel good too. Smells connote emotions that can change a person’s behavior and even perspective in life. That type of a moment is what Thoreau lived for, a small almost negligible moment that could give meaning to the whole world. Life should be lived to the goal of being happy, no matter the circumstances. The young, the old, the middle aged all face the same problems. Most do not know how to handle money, so they mismanage their finances. Credit cards can make life simpler at first, eventually in the wrong hands they are misused and the user gets into trouble. Thoreau lived in the 19th century, but he could have easily been talking about the 21st. In his work he mentions the problems faced back then, although slightly different were much the same that we deal with today. The railroad problems would be our car problems; the government still the government, and the economy just about the same. Thoreau transcends time; he is the father of ideas that promoted simplicity. Thoreau says, “However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are (433). A life can either be complex or simple. Thoreau was a proponent of the latter, and he encouraged many to strive for the same.
Works Cited
Thoreau, Henry D. Walden. New York: Thomas Y. Crowell & Company, 1910.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Yelle!
Perez Hilton, the infamous blogger, introduces the hottest band out there rocking the indy pop electro scene, Yelle! The concert was one of their last shows in America before they take off to produce more house jumping beats for the masses. Last nights show was amazing to say the least. Not a still body in the house, everyone was up and around. It was amazing to see her for the third time, and she even cried a little during the encore. Safe to say it was a spectacular show!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Four Months to Live
In four months I will die. The results are in, and I am scheduled to go. Hopefully, it should be enough time to actually begin living my life. It is tragic that it had to come to this to jump-start my life, nevertheless, I plan to make the most of it by finally doing everything I could not do before. When my doctor informed me of my imminent demise, it shocked me to the core. It was an unexpected hitch in my plans for the future. All of a sudden, the most insignificant details became important. I would not get to hear the roaring rush of the ocean ever again, the pitter-patter of raindrops on my head, or the smell of my moms delicious cooking. All of those things suddenly became very important to me. I will miss them all, yet, I am glad that I had the chance to know such things. I will certainly not miss the sound of my alarm clock waking me up every morning. The incessant never ending beeps reminding me to get up. Also, I will not miss the living hell of morning traffic. I have never been much of a morning person, so being able to sleep in will bring me much happiness. Giving up certain obligations will allow the indulgence of life’s pleasures, which I denied myself when it all seemed so infinite. Enough of my existence has been wasted with time consuming responsibilities, prohibiting me from enjoying myself to the fullest. Instead of going out with friends, I would stay in to study. It was this type of behavior that defined who I was in my past life. Small things would annoy me, like drivers who cut me off in traffic, and other minor offenses. I could not see past my own insecurities, and let things go. As a result, I became a person who held grudges. This death sentence, by no means a good thing, has put my life in perspective. It will permit me to take advantage of all that life has to offer. Giving in no longer carries the same guilty associations that it once did. I can have my third In-n-Out Burger, and feel absolutely fine about it. Moderation, a term I used to adhere to, will no longer apply to me. In its place, responsible recklessness, my new motto for the rest of my days. Four months to realize everything that I have ever dreamed of may seem impossible, however, with courage and persistence I will not let anything stand in my way.
The time I spent with foolish activities will no longer prevent me from living a productive life. I used to be a very different person. For the longest time I constantly put things off for later. Instead of applying to UC San Francisco, I procrastinated and never turned in my application, fearing I might not get in anyway. The application stayed on my desk, taunting me, serving as my coaster until I threw it out. When my life seemed endless, sitting around reading the paper, while drinking a cup of coffee, and enjoying the breeze was a favorite pastime of mine. Thinking about my future in depth would scare me because it meant that I actually had to do something with my meager existence. At first I wanted to be a firefighter, then a lawyer, finally, during a moment of supposed clarity I declared I would become a scientist. My life was up for grabs and whatever career caught my attention would be the one where I fell. During my stint as a firefighter, I researched everything to do with fighting fires. It was heroic work, however, I did not take into account the fact that I was an overweight teenager with a disdain for any type of hard physical labor. I despised running, lifting and all sorts of sports related activities. Therefore, a career in saving lives was obviously out of the question. After my ‘firefighting phase’, that is what my mother called it, was extinguished, I turned to more practical careers. I would never suspect that photography would spark a passion in me that I had never experienced. Photography arose in me a fervent need to create art through a lens. And that is where I am today, with only four months of breath left in me. I want to produce as much art as I can. Photography has always been a productive way to express my emotions. I never felt as though I was wasting my time, or someone else’s for that matter. Whenever I had a deadline, I would make sure not to miss it, because it meant so much to me that people wanted to see my work. I plan to make the most of these four months that I have been given. No more procrastination, no more missing deadlines, and finishing as much work as I can before I go. A shift occurred in me that I am thankful for. No longer am I the idle shell of a human that I once was. I breathe to live, not the other way around.
Dealing with a four month window is tough. I never thought I would only live to be 21 years old. Nevertheless, this is my time and I accept it with as much grace as I can muster. On the other hand, I am angry. A side of me wished I had longer. I wish I had time to do everything I wanted in life. I wish I could have met the love of my life, get married and have children. Still, it has been a good ride, and now I plan to go out in style. Certain superficial obligations will have to be dropped, while others will be of higher importance. For one, work is first on my list of things to drop. I no longer need to sacrifice my precious time serving people burgers all day. Serving people is no easy task. It is hard work putting on a fake smile and cater to a guests every whim. It was a necessity in my old life, however, with my remaining time, my new responsibilities will consist of eating everything and anything that my heart desires. Family has always been important to me, and still is. But, during my life when I thought I needed a career, I often put them aside for work. I thought all my hard work would pay off one day. Sadly, my life has been cut short. Now, I will focus on spending time with all of my family and make sure that they understand that life goes on, even without me. What I perceived to be important in my past life proved to be unessential for a productive life. Yet, complaining and regretting lost time will do me no good. The way I see it, a new shorter life has bee granted to me. It is up to me to make the most of it.
Confidence has never been a strong trait of mine. My biggest obstacle has always been myself. Yet, now that I only have four months, my confidence level has shot through the roof. It is like I have no inhibitions, I will do anything I please, within reason of course. My last month on earth will be a free for all, non-stop fun filled ride till the end. I will make up for all the things I never did when I had the confidence to do them. All of a sudden fear of death is non-existent because I know the exact date of my demise. It is always lurking in the shadows of my mind, reminding me that I have an expiration date. Snowboarding has always terrified me, yet now that I have no fears, it is next on my list to do. I want to live my life to the fullest, and fill every moment with an experience. In the end, that is all that life is made up of, experiences and the little moments shared with others. These simple diversions will keep me occupied and content for the next four months.
Living with a deadline is not too terrible. Whether it is the confidence I gained, the manner in which I spent my time, or the responsibilities I have left, I am sufficiently pleased with the way I will be leaving this earth. Thankfully, my legacy will be that I was a generous and kind human being. I have lived with a passion for art and hopefully people will remember me for that. Everyday now, I wake up with such an eagerness to make the most of my day. I still enjoy my cup of coffee, the aroma of the beans permeating the room, reminding me that I am not yet gone. The crisp wind in the mornings still has the power to invigorate my soul. These seemingly small things me give me the most joy. One of the last things that I will do is give everyone a photograph that I took, in this manner they will remember and keep me alive in their minds. I learned that it is not what I did during my life that defines me, but how I did them, and how I treated others. Now, a calm washes over me when I think back on my life. I know I did the best I could.
An essay on voting
An essay on voting that I wrote for my class.
The tired feet, the long wait, the indistinct sounds of people discussing the latest news. They wait in line to cast their ballot. Voting is the one thing people do that makes a difference. The waiting, the exhaustion, and the lines are all worth it because they know what it means. All those things are part of something great - voting. Yet, there are many people in this world that cannot vote. They either do not have the legal status to do so, or their government denies them the most basic rights. Their voices muffled by the sound of all the injustices of our world. So, not taking advantages of these basic rights seems silly right? Agreed. However, millions of Americans do just that, they waste their vote away. According to Lindsye Forson, a writer for The Battalion, the problem could be ignorance. Forson quotes Ilya Somin, a George Mason University law professor, “‘Most individual voters are abysmally ignorant of even basic political information’”. Corroborating the previous statement, it then proves that not only are millions of Americans wasting their vote, but, ignorance is a factor as to why they do not. It is vital that the young generations get out to vote, especially now when education is taking a big economic hit. Beckie Supiano, writing for The Chronicle of Higher Education, elaborates on young voter behavior in the article, “The Student Vote: Turnout by the Young Continued to Surpass Previous Levels on Super Tuesday.” It is also imperative that older generations place more attention on the habits of young voters. Soon they will be the majority of the population who make the decisions for everyone. Though, a light at the end of the tunnel can be seen. Racism and sexism are becoming less of an issue. It seems the general public are becoming more accepting of everyone. Rosa Brooks talks about this issue in the article, “Young Voters’ New Thinking.” With all these endless problems at hand the solution feels as though it may never come. Still, America has always been a place of great thinkers and leaders. The undying spirit of this great nation has not yet been beat. The future, lies in the hands of our young constituents who need to be educated on polices, unless we want a government made up of inexperienced politicians.
Clearly, young people think differently than the older generation. That is obvious. They have different goals, priorities, necessities, not to mention – drama. When most of the older generation have a second mortgage to worry about, the young voters have school and more importantly, to them, romantic problems. Forson astutely points out that political apathy is the main problem of lower voter turnout (1). The problem can be seen across the political spectrum among young voters’ prone to avoid any type of topic that involves too much brain function. A solution to the dilemma, over voter turnout, can be curbed by targeting young people where they come together most; the Internet. During this past election, the candidates barraged the web with advertising campaigns that young people were sure to not miss. Especially on social networking sites, like Myspace and Facebook. The candidates attempted to create a following with the younger crowd. Still, older generations need to be worried. An uneducated vote can be more detrimental than not casting a vote at all. It is young people who are voting more nowadays, whether they are educated or not is unclear. If older voters care about the issues that directly affect them, such as Social Security and Health Care, they need to pay more attention about who is making the decisions. It is the young voters year olds that are paving the new roads to Washington. Voter apathy is more of a problem that it seems. Politicians who do not realize this do not deserve to serve the public. Casting a vote carries a multitude of social implications and responsibilities. An uneducated voter, compounded with politics can have unpredictable outcomes. Thankfully among younger voters, some issues are becoming less of a hindrance when deciding who or what to vote for.
Racism and sexism lie at the heart of politics; nevertheless, with young voters it no longer poses a problem. Brooks believes that the question over the voting habits of America do not make sense anymore (1). It is possible that voters do not care about race as a factor over what President to vote for. Which can be true, to an extent. Even though the United States just elected a black President in the United States, to conclude that race was not a factor in his election is absurd. All types of people, especially older generations, have race on the mind. It is an issue that pervades our culture daily. It effects out most miniscule decisions, like what store to buy groceries from, or what side of the street to walk on. It is an inherent feeling that we all have as human beings. Mostly, due to the fact that social and cultural stereotypes seep into our subconscious, ruling our behavior. It can also be applied to other races and cultures, as well. Sometimes, an antipathy can be felt among other cultures for the American society. It is a sad fact of our nations history. To say that racism and sexism have been eradicated is misleading. It is true, the problem no longer carries the same weight it once did due to the hard work of activists for peace. Yet, it still is an issue amongst young people. Slowly, we are making leaps into erasing these types of issues. With our election of an African-American President we can begin to transform in to a country that accepts all cultures and races unconditionally. Hopefully soon, the confusion over what to refer our leaders by will no longer be an issue. Our African-American President will just be, our President. Likewise, our female Secretary of State will be just that, a Secretary of State, regardless of what race or sex they are.
Frequently, voters have proven themselves to be quite capricious. Young voters especially, are swayed easily. Supiano writes, “‘We think we’re a melting pot, but this year it’s become obvious that we tend to vote for people like ourselves. – Young people are voting for the youngest person in the race,” Mr. Warren stated”’ (2). For example, advertisements can play a big role in the political process, and candidates know this. With in seconds of viewing an advertisement they have already decided if they like it or not. Therefore, if politicians want to attract the younger votes, they need to relate to them. Our behavior is determined by how we are brought up and exposed to from an early age. Sex appeal is a major factor as well. The Obama campaign connected to the younger electorates favorite products by using them out in public. The Blackberry was advertised widely because of President Obama’s use of it. This made him appear cooler, for lack of a more appropriate word, to the younger crowd. It made him more relatable, thus giving him more votes. Whether it was intentional or unintentional is not important, it is the fact that they knew that young voters were the key to the election. The tactics employed were significant because if they had ignored the young public, they would have alienated a big percentage of the population that holds the power. A population that soon will be making the decisions for the rest of America. Now, the task is to harness this power for the improvement of America. These are the complex issues that educated voters should consider when casting their ballot. The future, so far, looks bleak. If there is to be change, it needs to come from our young generation.
Whether it is by utilizing resources that will relate to the voters, or appealing to their necessities; politicians would benefit from paying more attention to our young generation. Perhaps then, it is not too surprising why many Americans, as a whole, lack any initiative to vote. Most are deprived or do no care about the issues affecting our society. Not until the issues directly affect voters is when you can hear the cry of the people. It has to become worse before it can get better. Soon, the cries are heard in the offices of public assistance, and swishing sound of shuffling feet at the Unemployment Department. At the turn of the century people all of a sudden became voiceless. During the Vietnam Wars millions came out to march and protest. Well, now the same has to be done. Our voice is our most fundamental tool that we have to make change. Forson quotes, “‘Thomas Jefferson once said, the price of freedom is eternal vigilance’” (Qtd. on 1). This rings true especially for all voters. If the right to vote is squandered away we will have no voice in politics. Voter habits are changing and they can be seen in the faces of enthusiastic first time voters. The pride they feel echoes the first time African-Americans, women, and other oppressed individuals were given the right to vote. Then, it can be concluded that voting is inextricably linked with our basic rights. No one should take it for granted.
Style Mess
Rarely do I ever notice fashion trends. Yet, this time around GQ hit the mark with Justin Timberlake. The combinations are very stylish and cohesive. The Jacket is 700 dollars. Thats chump change for a guy like me (yea right).
Justin thinks that Kate Moss is quite a style maven, why? I dunno. To each his own I say.
As a photographer, I never really think about dressing myself up because its not necessary. Recently though, its become more of an issue. I find myself screaming at my closet for not being more stylish. I know its not its fault, but it should really offer me some more choices. I try and combine some of my stuff, but it all falls flat in the end. Last year I went on a scarf spree, and now they just sit there, lifeless, unworn. I could have bought other things with that money I suppose. But no, I bought scarfs. Its not that I regret the purchase, its that I do not know how to use them. I am a fashion victim, someone help me. I guess, i've always been more interested in music, art, and other things besides myself. I dunno, a little narcissism wouldnt hurt, right?
Anyway, this time the fashion gods have given me some insight in to what is good, and I like it. I think being comfortable is the most important thing. And the rest will follow suit. In the meantime, here are some good examples of what guys could be wearing this spring/summer/fall. Its all nice.
Justin thinks that Kate Moss is quite a style maven, why? I dunno. To each his own I say.
As a photographer, I never really think about dressing myself up because its not necessary. Recently though, its become more of an issue. I find myself screaming at my closet for not being more stylish. I know its not its fault, but it should really offer me some more choices. I try and combine some of my stuff, but it all falls flat in the end. Last year I went on a scarf spree, and now they just sit there, lifeless, unworn. I could have bought other things with that money I suppose. But no, I bought scarfs. Its not that I regret the purchase, its that I do not know how to use them. I am a fashion victim, someone help me. I guess, i've always been more interested in music, art, and other things besides myself. I dunno, a little narcissism wouldnt hurt, right?
Anyway, this time the fashion gods have given me some insight in to what is good, and I like it. I think being comfortable is the most important thing. And the rest will follow suit. In the meantime, here are some good examples of what guys could be wearing this spring/summer/fall. Its all nice.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Melt thy cold heart
This photograph of a firefighter giving a thirsty koala water practically made me bawl. No, not really, but it almost did.
It just goes to show that the human species is not bound for hell, yet.
Apparently the koala had been roaming the forest with burned paws (awww), due to the recent bushfires in Australia.
I just might buy a koala when i'm rich. They seem like such a sweet animal. Yes, that sounds about right. A pet koala.....hm.
Just kidding about the whole having a koala as a pet thing. The last thing I want to do is incur the wrath of Peta.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Ray Guns are not Just the Future
Another installment of my cd review.
This is a nifty one, let me tell you.
I downloaded their new cd today, and I must say that it will blow your ears away.
It could be classified into trip-indy-bassy-pop-vocal-futuristic-electronic-awesome!
Though I could name more, The Bird and the Bee are a fresh escape from the mundane and mind numbing sounds of top 40 radio. Inara George brings it to the microphone like no one else i've heard in a while. While she doesn't posses the vocal range of a diva, her smart and quick arrangements will make your eyes bleed with happiness. All the songs have something to offer, whether you are feeling a quick freak-out dance (Love Letter to Japan), or a moment of melancholy reminiscing (Ray Gun).
They bring back their hit 'Polite Dance Song' from the former album, so new listeners can enjoy the funny song.
All in all, the cd is packed with songs you will want to listen to again and again.
Buy it, don't download. This band really deserves your ten bucks.
Support more indy bands!
This is a nifty one, let me tell you.
I downloaded their new cd today, and I must say that it will blow your ears away.
It could be classified into trip-indy-bassy-pop-vocal-futuristic-electronic-awesome!
Though I could name more, The Bird and the Bee are a fresh escape from the mundane and mind numbing sounds of top 40 radio. Inara George brings it to the microphone like no one else i've heard in a while. While she doesn't posses the vocal range of a diva, her smart and quick arrangements will make your eyes bleed with happiness. All the songs have something to offer, whether you are feeling a quick freak-out dance (Love Letter to Japan), or a moment of melancholy reminiscing (Ray Gun).
They bring back their hit 'Polite Dance Song' from the former album, so new listeners can enjoy the funny song.
All in all, the cd is packed with songs you will want to listen to again and again.
Buy it, don't download. This band really deserves your ten bucks.
Support more indy bands!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Lo Siento
Growing up is hard baby. Don't I know it. These past weeks have been the best time of my life, and the worst.
Okay, worst is over exaggerating a tad. But I haven't been myself. I've over indulged, I've over drank, I've over everything!
I ceased to go to the gym about two months ago. Just in time for the holiday season, coincidentally. The food was excruciatingly enticing and delicious. How could I not indulge in those tasty treats?
Oh but Mo, how stupid have you been. By over doing it this season you have gained more shame, embarrassment and not to mention weight.
But why should I be so hard on myself?
Why can't I give in once in a while?
Why should I deny myself life's pleasures?
Because I'm a self-deprecating buffoon, thats why.
I think life is about moderation. Par example: Drinking one beer instead of two, eating one In-n-Out burger instead of three, catch my drift.......?
All in all, moderation sucks.
But as my english professor says very often "Life is hard, then you die".
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YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF THE ROAD
Nevertheless
and Henceforth I shall remain truly yours...