Death

Its like you live your life walking around, doing things, forming relationships, then one day. Its all taken away. Death is a normal part of life. It happens to everyone at one point or another. Its been hard on this family. I don't have the words to explain it. So devastating. I don't know if they'll be able to recover from this one. So young. So sad.

"People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were traveling abroad." ~Marcel Proust

Soon

October, its done, Its November. New Year approaching. Another year almost gone.
That about sums it up for me. I don't know where this year went. Thats how I always feel though. In my brain all the things that I experienced this year are playing on fast forward.
Lots of new things, but I guess thats what life is about. Change and growth. I can say i've done both this year. Gladly I feel good and healthy. Nothing could be better. I'm feeling optimistic about 2008. I know it will bring its fair share of roller coaster emotions and drama. But I welcome it. I guess life would be pretty bland without it.
Work today, same as yesterday. School tomorrow. Its becoming a little tedious, but I still do it. Not for anyone but myself. I wan't to be able to say that I am a college graduate. If that means anything at all.
Soon, or soon enough things are going to change, for the best I hope but who knows how people react. Its about time.
I picked up smoking again. Nasty habit I know, but it de-stresses me. So does yoga but that is just one day a week. Mom found out on saturday. She didn't yell, it was odd. I think shes letting me make my mistakes. So I could learn from them obviously. Nevertheless I think i'll quit on my own. Soon.
I'm content yet I want more. Its better that i've been lately. I feel good.
I want to be a photographer, a writer, a movie maker, I want to make people feel good. I want to entertain people. It seems so simple but why is it so hard. Who knows? Maybe I don't have 'it'. Whatever 'it' is. I'm still lookin' for it.
I wonder what my future holds for me.
Listening to my music calms me right now. It relaxes my anxieties. Its absurd.
New people, new surroundings, new everything is what I need. Soon.