The Last Time

These past two days have been overwhelming to say the least. I've been up, down and all over the place. Poked, prodded, sliced and opened up. Its all for the greater good though. On friday I had my last surgery performed on me. The procedures were a pharngoplastsy, which is basically a surgery to help me speak better and let less air escape through my nose when I speak. I also had a nasal reconstruction which left me with a huge cast on my face. I'm determined to stay in for the next three days untill I can get it off. Its very opressing. This mask covers my nose and a bit of my forehead for support. Its very frustrating trying to sleep when you can't breathe through your nose. I just try not to choke at night from my own saliva. It all sounds very gross and it really does suck. But i'm dealing with it because I know it is the last time i'm going to have to deal with doctors cutting me open every two years. At least voluntarily anyways. I would post a picture but i'm temporairily traumatized. So when I get over my shame I think i'll post a picture of when I was recovering and my face was twice its size.
So on wednesday I'll have to go and get my nose cast off and that will be one of the best days of my life, I hope so anyway. I'll finally be able to breathe and speak normally. You don't know how may people take that for granted but its the little things that make life great, like being able to just breathe right. I've had to learn the hard way. I've had to fix my problems surgically but now that the end is nearing i'm so excitied because I can finally put off all of my old fears and anxieties and begin to live again.
So just one more month and everything should be back to normal. All should be well.


things are looking up