Oh, hey there, again.

I've been wondering, I do that a lot nowadays. I mean I wonder and ponder and think and try to predict my future. I have no clue where i'll be in ten years. Much less one year. Its all up in the air. I could possibly be working at a studio, I could be a bum on the street, or just maybe I could be right where I am right now. Nowhere. I see my self, my life at a stanstill. Its not such a bad thing. Not much is happening to me, or I am not doing much to myself. What I mean is, i'm not making things happen for me. I feel in a way, trapped. Its been two years since I graduated high school. My life doesn't seem to have changed much since that last day of school. I lost some weight, I've gained some weight, I've had surgery, and all the while I still feel like i'm stuck in the doldrums. Yes some might say, I am doing something. My photography is the only escape I have right now. I think what I need is to is submerse myself into a different culture. I need different settings. I can't live in a place where there is so much nothing to do. I guess that I am just releasing some steam. But I don't like having all this steam pent up in the first place. I want to live carefree, and just not be so anxious. I guess in time. But thats besides the point.
I can not wait to return to school. I am itching to be challenged. I even thought of going back to my old job, but that just isn't an option anymore. All that place is, is a trap. A trap that you could escape at any moment but you cant because you are always living from paycheck to paycheck. Its depressing. But alas I perservere in some way, shape or form.
Tomorrow is friday and I have nothing special planned. I guess I could sleep on it and decide in the morning. Hanging out with friends isnt the same anymore. What could I do that is fun, yet not too stupid that only takes one person. Hmm. Ill have to think on it.

my clutter. just like me.